Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

Sgt Robert Barrett,  KIA 4/19/2010 wrote this before deploying to Afghanistan in January 2010

“I volunteered to put my life on the line for freedom and country. For my fellow soldiers, for my little girl, for my weeping mother and father.  “I am going to a land where American freedom is just a dream, a hope, a slow reality. I am an American soldier.”

Tomorrow marks America’s Veterans Day.  It is a sad day for many of us veterans, it is also a proud day.  I have often, and continue to have those days where I scream and yell at God for sending me over there.  I did the maths one day (gave myself a headache too) and figured out that in a 7 year period of 2006-2013 I had spend roughly 3.5 years over seas on combat zones.  I was drafted, no one forced me to go.  I went of my own free will and sought opportunities to go back again and again. Why?  God knew I was going, he actually came to me in 2012 and told me to go on my final deployment.  He knew I was going to go and he knows my heart.  After all, he created it and knows it better than I do.

Why do I think I have the right then, to yell and scream at him for all the baggage I now carry?  I know the BS we went through, and I know the good and the bad that happened. Much of it unavoidable, but some of it was decided by ourselves.  Remember the ‘free will’ he gave us as a gift!?

Having said that I do and, I am embarrassed that I treat him in such a way at times.  But I know he can take it and I know that he’s ok with it, he just wants to draw me closer to him.   So tomorrow, I am sure I will have a word with him about the whole thing.  I’ll be hunting in the morning since work is closed to observe this sacred day.  Plenty of time to gather my thoughts and speak to him while I chase the ghost like creature I hope to eat for my dinner.  Perhaps some afternoon beverages with a fellow veteran to toast our brothers and sisters, pausing for moment to pray extra hard for ones that didn’t make it home, like my brother in arms, Sgt Barrett.

So I ask you to take a moment to pray for all our veterans.  Past, present and those just beginning the proud life changing journey.  Whether a vet stayed CONUS or was sent with rifle to meet the enemy on a far flung battle field, they all deserve a hand shake, and even a hug.  Even better, a cold beer! 🙂

And for all my screaming and shouting, tears and tantrums; I thank our Lord every single day for allowing me the opportunity to serve and proudly call myself a United States soldier.  There are perhaps something’s I would change, go left and not right for example.  Its in the past and I know I did the best I could in combat, lead by example and with courage for the guys to feed off and use.  I cry and I smile, I scream and I hide in loneness.  I yell out for help and I retreat to the comfort of myself and my self hate.  Its all part of being a child of God.

When a person dies and meets God, they may ask themselves “what did I give back to my fellow man? A veteran doesn’t have to worry about that question.

I am proud to be my brother’s keeper!!

 

 

 

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‘Antifa’ Nov 4 2017

Lets not be silly

Another afternoon spent shaking my head at the chatter about the pending protests on Nov 4 across the nation.  If you are considering attending a major city in support of this anti American group please re-think your decision making process.  Antifa has now been officially labeled a Domestic Terrorist group by the FBI and the Dept. of Homeland Security.

When will the untested and unproven youth of today spend a little time researching their own information before declaring that they plan to over throw the government and all those that stand in their way.  I wonder in which direction their way is? What are the plans? I don’t consider myself quite over the hill yet, I’m still in my 30’s even if only just hanging in there.  I have seen much of the world as a traveler and as a soldier. I have seen real poverty and real heart ache.  The Wi-Fi going down in Starbucks or you losing some points on your world of war craft game does not constitute struggle.

The powers that be, not the white house; the real power players behind the scenes that actually run this Country are rubbing their hands together with excitement as they watch America continue to fight each other.  When are we going to wake up and unite as one?  Something they just don’t want to see happen.

President Trump is not the problem with this Country.  It is the self obsessed, over privileged youth who thing the Country owes them something just for being alive and staying in school.  It doesn’t work that way guys.  Go out there and become a decent member of your community.  Stop staying in college until your 40’s, get out there and give back a little.

I am in a rush this afternoon and need to finish and I feel my writing is a little fragmented today.  Writing still allows me a good and therapeutic answer to rising PTSD when I am feeling triggered. And I am feeling a little triggered which is sad since I am home now. I am not in a combat zone, but I feel one is around the corner.

If the ‘Antifa’ supporters and those with a similar cause decide they want to take the fight to the people, I ask that you reconsider. This is a fight you will not win. Put your chi green tea down for 2 minutes and think about it.  I don’t want to see violence in our towns and cities but if you start it, there are Patriots who will finish it.  I live in a city that I feel may be subjected to a violent Nov 4 and I pray I am wrong.  Do not throw away your life so early, do some of your own reading and your own research and understand that waving sticks and stomping your feet is not going to win this one.

Your freedom is not written by a politician with ink, it is written and provided by the veterans who don’t know you, but serve you and protect you.  Honor that and protest with peace and open ears and hearts.

I am my brothers keeper!