Trump! Keeping his word….

And it goes a little something like this….

Donald Trump repeatedly vowed to “wipe the hell out of ISIS”.  Thank you Mr. President for staying true to your word.

Within a year, the Islamist terror group that gained so much ground and support during Barack Obama’s tenure has been forced from Syria and Iraq.  I had hoped to head over to Syria as a government contractor again to do some more fighting but the wife put that idea to bed pretty fast! hahaha    The money is good but I value her love more!

I have read articles where experts are saying this success is down to Trump authorizing his military commanders, led by SOD Mad Dog Gen. Mattis, to do what they needed to do without getting bogged down by politicians in Washington.

I don’t think we are complacent about the ongoing threat of ISIS (see today in NYC) and it’s supporters continuing to commit terrorist acts on civilian soil as they are driven from the battlefield.  But the importance of kicking them out of Iraq and Syria cannot be overstated.

At every campaign rally, Trump promised economic growth, get jobs going again, and stock market increases.

That’s happening people!!

Trump promised to confirm Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and to move the US Embassy there from Tel Aviv.  He initially exercised his right to waive that decision in June, however has made good on his promise and kept true to his word last week.  I personally think it’s a potentially dangerous move that has already created unwanted violent clashes, but you can’t say he didn’t vow to do it if he got elected because he did, repeatedly.

These three momentous things follow a long line of promises Trump has kept.

He has moved to examine the Iran nuclear deal which was a gift to them by Hilary Clinton,  has finally stood up to North Korea and the increased threat it shows to the world.  He started work on repairing and strengthening the Mexican wall along the Southern border.  (just the threat of it has led to a 38% fall in illegal immigrants coming over that border since he was elected).

The Supreme Court recently approved his revised and controversial travel ban on residents of seven predominantly Muslim countries.

By contrast, Obama,  a person liked and admired by almost the entire world I think, failed on many of his biggest promises including pledges to close Guantanamo Bay, get new gun control laws, create a path to citizenship for  illegals immigrants, reform Washington, and end the war in Afghanistan.  I still remember his disastrous decisions that negatively and dangerously impacted my time over there.

Donald Trump is not a perfect president in many ways and I say that as someone who likes him.

Yet there can be no doubt now that President Trump is a man who is delivering on his promises to the people who voted for him.

I think they love what they see in the president, warts and all.  There are times I wince and cringe at things he says, having said this,  he can be brutally honest and absolutely to the point; which I honestly find refreshing and rather provoking.

He’s got ISIS on the run, illegal immigration back under control, jobs pouring back, the economy roaring again, and the lying all powerful fake media back in it’s box.

Love him or hate him, Trump’s doing exactly what he told us he’d do.

 

I have scars but the worst is one you cannot see….

A book and it’s cover

The classic scene in the Jaws movie where ‘Quint’ and ‘Hooper’ compare scars always makes me laugh and think of something I could do with veterans, and of course non veterans, like in the movie.  Striking up a kinship through tails of bravado and luck.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not riddled with them but I have a few.  However, the scene very quickly takes my mind to the ones you cant see.  The weathered old navy veteran Quint reveals the ones you cant see are perhaps and often become the deepest and most punishing scars one can have.

God sent me down range for a reason.   Some of those reasons have already become apparent to me.  I can safely say, without boasting or doubt that there are people alive (well they were last time I saw them) because of actions I took or because I put my own life on the line to make sure they were ok.  Its a feeling of profound pride that I wouldn’t trade for all the tea in England. Having said that, I am also left with days that include terrifying memories, flash backs, hyper vigilance, nightmares plus feelings of hopelessness and loneliness.   I’m not complaining, I know he will explain it all to me when he takes me home.  Yet, I still find myself asking why? When the demons come and I cant get out of my own way I scream why!!??  I look ok, act ok (my wife may disagree!) and have a good career going well.  Still I am often frozen with fear and locked in the every present battle between Mike being home and Mike not quite being fully home.

So, don’t judge me by my exterior, you don’t know whats going on inside my head and heart.  Wait, I have full tattoo sleeves, a hate to shave, I drive a truck, wear a military cap most days and I am typically always carrying a gun…… you can judge me a little I guess! haha

Joking aside;  the non visibal scars run deep and they are unrelenting and do not care if you need a day off.  So why write this today you may ask!?  Well, I feel like I am winning.  Life is going surprisingly well and has come around 180 degrees in the last 12 months.  Of course I have complaints, gripes and general bitching here and there.  The demons don’t seem to want to play as much as they used to, my marriage feels wonderfully new and fresh and the pure hatred in my heart has started to subside.  Hatred has been such a strong factor in my life I often feel lost without it, but with it gone I am able to allow goodness into my life.  This feel good. God IS Good.

I have surrendered to the realization that God does love me and he does want the very best for me.  He sent me to be his sword on the field of battle and I hope I did him proud.    He didn’t send me to get back at me or to hurt me.  Was it to simply take the lives of my enemy? To save the lives of those being persecuted? Or to speak of his son Jesus Christ to the occupiers of the mountains of Afghanistan.

Another battle is looming on my horizon and I know its one that is going to take me to an even darker place. A place I know I don’t want to go.  God will guide me but my anger with him on this one is monumental.  I pray my faith is strong enough to defend my heart from the hate that is vying for it’s attention again.

I am my brothers keeper.  I need my 6 covered.

 

USAA

Fuming, absolutely fuming with USAA right now!

This is what I just sent them!

“I am absolutely disgusted that my life insurance application was denied based on my VA medical history of Combat related PTSD and Depression. Wow, thanks USAA!!! I currently have a $100k policy with you guys.  Since we have bought our first home I wanted to make sure that I had sufficient coverage should anything ever happen to me. I applied for an additional $200k to cover the home in full. DENIED! So USAA is for the vets, for the soldiers blah blah blah. I voluntarily enlist, get sent over there to fight (more than once) and praise God, make it back in one piece. Get married, settle down, land an awesome Government job  and we buy our first home. Trying to get my thing in order, be a responsible husband and make sure my home and wife’s future is finally in tact, JUST IN CASE a worse case scenario happens and, you guys Deny me!!

Seriously guys?? Wasn’t asking for a policy that would lead to generations of wealthy babies. Just enough to cover the remaining mortgage on the house and a little bit left over for incidentals. We recently moved to Texas and I was forced to switch our car insurance, which I really hated doing/leaving you guys for that coverage.  However, since your Texas coverage doubled our monthly premiums from Massachusetts I was left with no choice but to find a cheaper option. Actually got slightly better coverage for our cars through Geico Insurance at the same price we had been paying. So it looks like Geico will be getting the rest of our business in the very near future.  Our home owners Insurance for starters and the rental property insurance too.

I am so disappointed with your company and will encourage other veterans to seek other finance options moving forward. How can a company that is specifically designed for Veterans and Soldiers refuse to cover a Vet with life insurance????
I have always been such an advocate for your company, yet that stops today.  You guys make me sick and I look forward to the day that I have no business with you at all.

Thanks for nothing!
Mike”

Too much? Too emotional? Either way, I cannot hide the anger inside right now. The denial letter literally said “due to your PTSD and depression”.   Am I blind and/or ignorant to the fact that potentially all Combat Infantrymen are refused life insurance from USAA?  That cant be possible right? Maybe it is and I am over reacting?

Suggestions, feedback, advice and comments all welcomed!

 

Scientology?????

Any ideas WTF this is all about???

I have been watching the Leah Remini show for over 12 months now and still find myself a little speechless after every episode!  What benefits does the government, clearing including the Treasury Dept and the IRS have to gain from allowing this cult to be considered a genuine church/religion and therefor enjoy the billion dollar tax free status that real faiths are entitled to?  It screams some type of monetary gane for the government since it generates billions each year.  Since, no one in their right freakin mind can seriously declare this to be a religion right?

God made us, and not only us physically but everything you can see, eat, touch, small, hear, taste, think, imagine, wish for, dream of, go to and be thankful for.

You don’t believe in Jesus Christ being our savoir? Fair enough, that’s your right.  We all have our beliefs.  Easy!

However, to listen to and take in what these nut jobs talk about just simply baffles me.  I mean, seriously makes me want to smash my own head through a wall.  The ‘founder/con- artists/lunatic’ was worth approximately $600m back in the 1960’s!!!!!!  And lived on International waters to prevent him being arrest by the US government for many different corruption charges.  And this group of clowns is still allowed to exist and prosper!  The pastor in my church is asking us to pray on our tithing habits in order to help the church pay the $24k to simply make bills for the year!

I’m already exhausted thinking about the lunacy of this cult.

Please, any takers?

I’ll always be my brother’s keeper from all enemies, domestic included!!

 

Turkey time can be tough…..reach out to your brothers!

I spent Thanksgiving 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010, and 2012 far away from family and friends while serving in the US Army.  Four of the mentioned years were spent deployed to various combat zones.

They all bring back memories, some not so great and some of them are my best Thanksgiving day memories.  Either way, they can bring bouts of loneliness and sadness.  Some of which are unexplainable considering I am now typically surrounded by loved ones and copious amounts of food and booze!  Which makes Mike a happy chap!

I thank God for bringing me back from all those times away and often ask him why he kept some of my brothers.  I have a feeling I am not going to get the answer to my every day question until its judgment day.  Having said that, I like to enjoy this time of year as a celebration of that fact he did bring me home.  Not quite the same bloke that arrived at Fort Benning in 2005, but never the less alive and physically in one piece!

Between mouthfuls of turkey, pumpkin pie and all that beer and wine, try not to forget those who made it home but who are not quite fully home.  We have brothers who, this week will feel overwhelming moments of sadness, guilt and, loneliness.  Some will succumb to the demons of war and lose their fight.  Remember, 22 veterans lose the fight every day in this Country.

A simple text, phone call and/ or visit to a veteran could literally save a life this week.

http://www.mission22.com

I am my brother’s keeper!!

Gobble gobble everyone and enjoy the festivities.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

Sgt Robert Barrett,  KIA 4/19/2010 wrote this before deploying to Afghanistan in January 2010

“I volunteered to put my life on the line for freedom and country. For my fellow soldiers, for my little girl, for my weeping mother and father.  “I am going to a land where American freedom is just a dream, a hope, a slow reality. I am an American soldier.”

Tomorrow marks America’s Veterans Day.  It is a sad day for many of us veterans, it is also a proud day.  I have often, and continue to have those days where I scream and yell at God for sending me over there.  I did the maths one day (gave myself a headache too) and figured out that in a 7 year period of 2006-2013 I had spend roughly 3.5 years over seas on combat zones.  I was drafted, no one forced me to go.  I went of my own free will and sought opportunities to go back again and again. Why?  God knew I was going, he actually came to me in 2012 and told me to go on my final deployment.  He knew I was going to go and he knows my heart.  After all, he created it and knows it better than I do.

Why do I think I have the right then, to yell and scream at him for all the baggage I now carry?  I know the BS we went through, and I know the good and the bad that happened. Much of it unavoidable, but some of it was decided by ourselves.  Remember the ‘free will’ he gave us as a gift!?

Having said that I do and, I am embarrassed that I treat him in such a way at times.  But I know he can take it and I know that he’s ok with it, he just wants to draw me closer to him.   So tomorrow, I am sure I will have a word with him about the whole thing.  I’ll be hunting in the morning since work is closed to observe this sacred day.  Plenty of time to gather my thoughts and speak to him while I chase the ghost like creature I hope to eat for my dinner.  Perhaps some afternoon beverages with a fellow veteran to toast our brothers and sisters, pausing for moment to pray extra hard for ones that didn’t make it home, like my brother in arms, Sgt Barrett.

So I ask you to take a moment to pray for all our veterans.  Past, present and those just beginning the proud life changing journey.  Whether a vet stayed CONUS or was sent with rifle to meet the enemy on a far flung battle field, they all deserve a hand shake, and even a hug.  Even better, a cold beer! 🙂

And for all my screaming and shouting, tears and tantrums; I thank our Lord every single day for allowing me the opportunity to serve and proudly call myself a United States soldier.  There are perhaps something’s I would change, go left and not right for example.  Its in the past and I know I did the best I could in combat, lead by example and with courage for the guys to feed off and use.  I cry and I smile, I scream and I hide in loneness.  I yell out for help and I retreat to the comfort of myself and my self hate.  Its all part of being a child of God.

When a person dies and meets God, they may ask themselves “what did I give back to my fellow man? A veteran doesn’t have to worry about that question.

I am proud to be my brother’s keeper!!

 

 

 

Still waiting…..uniform ready!

The stars aligned in October and the world didn’t end, and unfortunately Jesus didn’t come back either!!  Nibiru is still reported to be flying close by to our planet yet still eludes us.  Antifa didn’t show up on Nov 4th for the much anticipated brawl.  The government didn’t appear to conduct the mass EMP drill we were told to expect and Trump continues to stall on pounding North Korea back to the dark ages  **Insert sigh**

Why do I get so focused on the end of the world or end of society as we know it crap??  I have 2 ‘bug out’ bags (I call them our ‘Oh Shit’ bags actually) at home ready to go 24/7 and constantly look out for new stories about situations spiraling out of control which will require me to suit up and protect my wife and family.  And by suit, I mean my old army uniform! haha….

I don’t want the world to end, I don’t want nuclear war either.  What am I waiting for? I have a good job that keeps me busy, wonderful social life but ache for just something to ‘happen’ that pushes me to put my skills to real use.  My doctor at the VA has put this down to my PTSD, is she right? Is it a case of me being so hyper vigilant and alert that I am simply looking for any reason so lace up my combats boots and start cracking skulls again??

I think I put it down to that simply desire to make a difference.  One that drove me to enlist and continues to drive me now, even if in other ways.  IF it is part of my PTSD, will it ever go away? Am I gonna be one of the old timers threatening to whoop someone’s arse at the movie theatre when I’m 75? haha I pray to Jesus I have mellowed out at that point in my life!

For now I will remain ready, its part of me.  Drill sergeant rants continue to ‘haunt’ me to this day, “stay alert, stay alive” haha.  My wife hears it enough!  So it Antifa comes calling or Nibiru decides to make an appearance.  Follow me!

You can find me in my full battle rattle locked and cocked, perhaps with a walking frame at that point.  But i’ll always be ready!

I am my brother’s keeper!

Can writing kill the demons?

About to leave work for the weekend and wanted to share one last thing that’s been weighing on me for quite some time.

Through my PTSD treatment at the VA, one form of treatment that we concluded was extremely helpful to me is the written word! Even though, I fully understand I am no Shakespeare, I do enjoy it and it allows me to share thoughts that I could never share in person, or would simply avoid sharing.

I am about to embark on a dark and deep journey into uncovering years of nightmarish events I suffered as a child.  Right now, your mind or minds, if there is more than one of you bored enough to be reading this, have gone to a specific place.  I would make a bet I know where your minds have gone, and you are correct.

Pending my health case transfer from MA to TX I will begin down a road I have been avoiding for YEARS! Now compounded with enlisting in the Army and going to war, its something I don’t want to touch…..nope, not now not ever. Nope nope nope…..

What am I looking for right now? Support? Ideas? Hope? Little of everything? haha… I guess to potentially hear that there are others out there that find this whole writing lark helpful? My wife suggested it and I genuinely enjoy it.  My own self made treatment plan of year after year of avoidance, drink, anger, hate, drink, self hate, drink, rage, solitude, drink and…….another beer have not worked. You can say “no sh*t Mike” haha

Its overwhelming, and right as I feel I have a really good handle on my combat related PTSD, I am now crawling down a much different and even darker rabbit hole….

I know God has a wonderful plan to turn all this bollocks into something magnificent!! WTF that could be I don’t know and I get very angry that it happened in the first place, and why to me? Why to any kid??

Though, I do say with all the love in my heart, I hope God blesses you all.

OK, time for a beer!!!

I am now, and will always be my brother’s keeper!

 

 

 

Could be quite the weekend!

TGIF guys!!! However, it could prove a rather interesting weekend, depending on how much you read (away from main stream media) and what you believe.

Antifa protests, EMP government drills, blackouts and possible general civil unrest.  What do we make of all this? None of it has made the main stream media, which doesn’t surprise me.  So then we need to decide what is legit news and what is utter bollocks.  I think its fair to say that at the very least, Antifa are trying to rally some of the ‘minions’ for some protesting.  There also seems to be some credible evidence that the government is preparing to run a mock EMP attack drill in some major cities across the US.

I’m honestly up in the air about what’s really going to happen.  My gut tells me that this is going to be one of those more of a bark than actual bite type situations.  That the weekend will come and go without any incidents from anyone.  Having said that,  I am going hunting in the morning but do plan on being home by lunch time ‘just in case’ something happens.  Am I mad for prepping for something that could be utter tripe?  Either way, the soldier in me is still screaming BE PREPARED!

If you are incredibly bored this morning and happen to be reading this, all I say is, be ready for anything and be safe. Make smart,  informed and thought out decisions.

Say a prayer too!! I think God is speaking to us all in ways that some of us are hearing and some are struggling.  My fear is many are not even trying to listen.  We are in troubling times guys and I hope that as a population we can see through the flock and make our own smart decisions.  We are being herded into doing what the establishments want us to do.  They want us to fight each other.  That way, they can come in and initiate radical reforms to law and order, taking away even more God given AND constitutional rights that we are barely clinging on to tat this time.

I am going to stay away from it all and look out for my wife and dog, and myself.  I can honestly say I don’t think I have the self control to not fall into the trap.  I know I will start smacking people around and just play into their hands.  Be the bigger person and make the same decision to stay away too if you know your demons may get the better of you.  The devil wants you to fail every single day and this weekend could be the perfect storm right at your doorstep.

Have water, food and firearms ready this weekend to protect your family, yourself and your property.  May God bless you all.

I am my brothers keeper!

God’s plan for me?

What a question right? Anyone got the answer? hahaha…. The big guy has been pretty quiet with me lately and I have been asking him many questions.  We recently moved to Texas coming down from New England and we both felt called to this part of the Country by God.  We have both been getting a little frustrated by the immediate lack of clarification for our journey by God.  Even though we both know its all in his hands and it will all be done in HIS time. Putting together the pieces of the move alone have been a challenge and I think we had hoped for an answer to why we were sent down here by him.

We have been church shopping and of course one of the major messages we hear on a weekly basis is that Jesus forgives us and always forgives us.  This is truly breath-taking and uplifting.  I need to ask however, are there any veterans out there that, although love and follow Jesus, have a hard time understanding the depth of his love and forgiveness for us?

Considering my past, including time in uniform I go back and forth between overwhelming feelings of his grace and then spiraling feelings of confusion and guilt about how I have let him down so badly.  Therefore, how can he continue to love me and forgive me?

What will I say to him when I finally meet him as an old man? What will he say to me?

Any thoughts?