About to leave work for the weekend and wanted to share one last thing that’s been weighing on me for quite some time.
Through my PTSD treatment at the VA, one form of treatment that we concluded was extremely helpful to me is the written word! Even though, I fully understand I am no Shakespeare, I do enjoy it and it allows me to share thoughts that I could never share in person, or would simply avoid sharing.
I am about to embark on a dark and deep journey into uncovering years of nightmarish events I suffered as a child. Right now, your mind or minds, if there is more than one of you bored enough to be reading this, have gone to a specific place. I would make a bet I know where your minds have gone, and you are correct.
Pending my health case transfer from MA to TX I will begin down a road I have been avoiding for YEARS! Now compounded with enlisting in the Army and going to war, its something I don’t want to touch…..nope, not now not ever. Nope nope nope…..
What am I looking for right now? Support? Ideas? Hope? Little of everything? haha… I guess to potentially hear that there are others out there that find this whole writing lark helpful? My wife suggested it and I genuinely enjoy it. My own self made treatment plan of year after year of avoidance, drink, anger, hate, drink, self hate, drink, rage, solitude, drink and…….another beer have not worked. You can say “no sh*t Mike” haha
Its overwhelming, and right as I feel I have a really good handle on my combat related PTSD, I am now crawling down a much different and even darker rabbit hole….
I know God has a wonderful plan to turn all this bollocks into something magnificent!! WTF that could be I don’t know and I get very angry that it happened in the first place, and why to me? Why to any kid??
Though, I do say with all the love in my heart, I hope God blesses you all.
OK, time for a beer!!!
I am now, and will always be my brother’s keeper!